June 7th, 2012
I seem to be an “emotional” powerlifter…
What do emotions effect in your life? Emotional eater? Shopper?
How about powerlifting?
I actually almost had an “ugly cry” moment at the gym today.
We all have our moments. At least that is what I tell myself. I was excited to get to the gym this morning! After a kick butt lifting day on Tuesday and a great massage on Wednesday I figured today was going to be hard (Day 2 on my schedual always is) but pretty awesome.
I even arrived early.
All is good, I find a squat rack, I figure out my plates for my warm up lifts, I get the bar across my back and I stand up.
Why does this 90 freakin’ pounds feel heavy. Not just; hey, there are too many cans in this grocery bag heavy but more like; who dropped a small house on my back heavy. I take a breath.. squat and NOPE. This isn’t going to happen.
Here we go again. Sometimes it take a bit for my legs to get into the game, perhaps I just need to try again. Double check tenchinque, stand tall.. QL’s tight.. on my heels.. and…
This is not good at all. What is going on?
I can hear every conversation around me.. I feel like everyone is watching me crumble.. Drop set. I take some weight off, I clear my head and refocus yet again.
BAM. Here it comes. Everything I could be worried about comes front and centre. I focus on the bar.. my technique.. BAM. It’s back along with.. “What do you think you are doing? You are old, fat and so far past your prime that this desperate attempted at atheletism is pathetic.”
Where did that come?
Not far behind that little bubble of positivity are the tears. I put the bar back and make a bee line for the sunshine in the parking lot.. perhaps some fresh air.
At the same time my SHC (Super Hero Coach) Michele is arriving. Kudos to her for reading the situation and accessing her crying athlete in the parking lot PDQ. Within minutes a few things are clear. My legs still hurt from yesterday’s massage, I am worried about radio ratings coming out today and a conference I leave for tomorrow and I am concerned for a powerlifting friend that has had some set backs.
Michele’s solutions was pretty straightforward. Girl talk and a walk around the farmer’s market. If she had pushed me I would of gone back into the gym and picked up the bar again, but she had the wisdom to recognize that training is more than muscles and food, it is also head, heart and soul. My HHS (head heart soul) was in need of a little TLC.
I am feeling good now, and still looking forward to my next training day and I am confident that the 90 pounds will be back to feeling like 90’s pounds.
I leave you today with a smile.. and a tiny pig that seems to enjoy it’s morning oatmeal as much as I do..
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