October 15th, 2015
That’s an ugly truth.
Sometimes you have to “talk the talk” before you “walk the walk” but sometimes no matter how much talking you do a big obstacle can appear. You might think you have it licked, like your favourite ice cream from Moo Licks, but sometimes that truth rises up and smacks you in the face, also sometimes like your favourite ice cream at Moo Licks. (I be messy)
I’m lucky I have the steady influence of husband Steve, friends and an awesome family at Aspire Health and Performance so when things get messy I do have something to hold onto whilst I work it out.
Here’s the deal. No matter how much positive body talk I have going on, no matter how much I support others, no matter how fabulous I am feeling about my progress, somewhere inside I believe that as long as I am heavier than what society wants me to be I will never be recognized as a successful athlete.
Cue the tears. I need to get past this.
Here’s the plan.
Purge purge purge.
- I am tossing/donating all the clothes I have that are too big or too small and just working within the world that I currently occupy. That whole living in the moment thing.
- I am organizing (or finding someone else to) our home so I can work efficiently within it. Freeing up that steady stress in my brain that feels like I am just staying afloat.
- I am staring my feelings of inadequacy straight in the eye and acknowledging them; and promptly delivering a raspberry.
- I will listen to my coach and my friends, do what I need to, and kick some serious butt when I return to the platform.
- I will continuing to focus on growth in every aspect including getting better at my job everyday and doing the things that make me feel outstanding and confident both inside and out!
- Whatever my weight is in January will dictate the class I will be lifting in come May and I will do the best I can in that class and celebrate every victory I have, without second guessing that success because of the number on the scale. What matters is the number on the bar and it’s just going to have to be heavier in order to obtain the success I want.
I have had so much success. Time to keep building on that and see where this road leads. I am thankful to have solid support on this journey, it makes it easier to know I can trust the people around me.
Here’s to a brilliant 2016 back on the platform!