September 28th, 2013
Just STFU. If you don’t like where you are. Leave.
Best advice I ever figured out: If you don’t like where you are, MOVE. LEAVE. VAMOOSE!
I recall being taught as a child that people, while interested in where you are from, get mighty annoyed if the constantly hear about how great it is compared to where you currently are. To the point where they will hope you go back, and soon.
As a radio personality (or “presenter” as they say in the U.K. I love that.) I have lived in many different provinces and cities. I have lived in tiny towns, capital cities, and resort communities. I have lived in year round mild and I have lived in nasty nasty cold. I have lived in towns that smell bad and places with amazing culture.
Have I loved them all? No. Did I enjoy them all? Yes.
Recently I have had a rash of acquaintances that don’t seem to be happy where they have landed, and will happily tell the world how much better it is where they are from. They seem to do so without a care in the world about feelings of the people around them that take pride in the place they call home.
Seriously. If you don’t like where you are, I will say it again: MOVE. LEAVE. VAMOOSE!
But Suuuuusannnnn they whine.. we can’t leave and are stuck here. (Insert an excuse about love, work, or planetary alinement)
Fine. Just shut up about it, otherwise it becomes clear you don’t want to be happy.
I have friends, that are aware that I seem to be pleased where ever I lay my hat. Some have enquired, when on the verge of a big move, how I do it, and if they will be able to as well.
The answer is YES!
Every place has a bit of magic that can touch your soul. You just have to find it.
I can sing a song of love for Sudbury Ontario. They massive lake! The winters snuggled up inside with friends! The deep mines where you can actually here the miners taking in the pipes of your home if it’s in the right place!
I can sing a song of love for Squamish BC. The people who love their forest, loggers, mountain bikers and first nations alike. The moss that hung from trees like full sheets of massive paper. Mountain biking to work with a lynx running by my side!
I can sing a song of love for Victoria BC. Spring year round! Capital city busy! Ocean wind, spray and creatures! Best pub ever! Historical brick homes!
I can sing a song of love for Kelowna BC. The lake! The lake! The lake! Fruit! Wine! The lake! Early spring’s! The lake!
I can sing a song of love for Streetsville, Mississauga, London, Toronto, Chatham, Welland and other places I have had the privilege to call home.
When you open your soul to the new places in your life your heart will find away to call it home. The wonderful bonus is the people you will meet! The people that celebrate life and joy, the people that will be interested in where your travels have taken you and will have immense pride in showing off the place that they call home!
Yes, the weather will be different, yes it will be hard to find new doctors and dentists, yes sometimes you will feel the pull of the place you identify as home and it will hurt. If you truly can not get past the pull of home, go back. No shame, no foul, just a much happier you, and a much happier everyone else who no longer has to pretend to care.
If you want to grow, and perhaps change a nasty pattern you have developed, I have a few tips.
No more… But in “city name” we always…
No more… Well it’s not too bad in “city name” but in “former place” it’s SO much better..
No more… I really don’t belong here, “insert reason that somehow says you need to go to former city.”
Yes, you may have some valid points, but people are no longer listening.
If you have an idea based on a something your former city did.. just present the idea. No need to quantify it with a city name. The sooner you stop the comparison game the sooner you will start to see the positives of where you are now.
Join clubs, do tourist stuff, try something new! Make a list and turn it into an adventure, either solo, with new friends or as a family. Rejoice in what you have today.
This philosophy can be applied to more than geography, you can also apply it to relationships or a job anything in which you need to deal with change.
If you still find yourself whining, you need to take a solid look at where you are and why, Is it worth it? My hunch would be no. In which case.. MOVE. LEAVE. VAMOOSE!
I truly hope you can find the piece of joy in the place you are right now, because in the bigger picture you are here for a reason.