January 13th, 2011
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
I learned a few interesting things this week, I learned how to check my stocks that I buy at work and how to cash them in, I learned that the question “How many calories are in a banana” is harder to answer that one might think, I learned that my desire and terror to perform on a stage being someone other than me hasn’t gone away, and I learned to sit still and listen to my restless soul when it is trying to draw attention to something.
I have been restless and cranky this week.
It has been an odd feeling that settled into my being, starting Monday afternoon. At first I thought it was just being over tired from the early mornings and a few unplanned late nights.
But that wasn’t it.
Perhaps it was a that feeling we all fight with when the holidays are done and another year lays ahead full of promise of the resolutions as of yet unbroken.
Nope not it.
AH HA! Got it, frustration with my journey on 52New ~ Health. As in any journey I get frustrated with the process and just want it done.
Shoot. Not that either.
My eyes closed and drifting off to sleep on Tuesday it came to me. One of my dearest friends was celebrating her birthday this week and I would have to send her a message.
How many years had it been now?
No, not Karen’s Birthday, but the day my 1st husband left me. Many people are unaware that before I met my wonderful current husband and we came to live in Kelowna I was married to another man. That marriage lasted almost 10 years.
It ended badly. He did some things in the years we were together that he didn’t share with me until the evening he left me. I won’t go into detail but the pain and hurt was immense.
I was emotionally knocked to the floor. I had fallen and coudn’t get up.
Why does Karen’s birthday remind me of this moment?
At the time I was living on Vancouver Island and hadn’t been there for very long so had a very limited support system. 1st responder was a friend at work Mandy. Mandy will forever hold a place in my heart for coming to my side that dark night. The next person to arrive on scene was Karen. Karen cancelled her birthday plans to be with me. She flew in from Whistler and was at my side as fast as she could be, holding me together until my sister could arrive from Ontario.
That is what friends do.
She didn’t mention her birthday. I sure didn’t remember her birthday. She just came. Held me. Loved me. Promised me I was going to be ok.
Every year, when the memory sneaks up on me, her birthday is like a gentle warning ~ before the fist of failure hits. I remember it’s Karen’s birthday. Than I remember why I forgot it was her birthday many years ago.
Is it tough that those things are associated together?
Yes and no.
Because along with the pain of a hurtful memory is the memory of a friend doing something so wonderful, solely motivated by caring, for me.
That is truly remarkable.
That is my latest 52NEW.
This is the first year that the memory of friendship brought on a feeling of warmth and joy that lingered even while the pain moved in from a betrayal that will stay with me forever.
Her example of friendship is one that I hold myself to in every relationship I have.
I could tell you a great number of things I learned from my previous relationship and the divorce process, but none of them hold a candle to that simple lesson of friendship and a birthday both ignored and forgotten.
Thank you Karen.
This 52NEW is dedicated to you and all the wondrous things friendship can bring.