January 14th, 2014
Come on be happy!
Yup I am bilingual.
I speak english and I speak another language fluently that drives much of my friends and family insane; hypothetical.
That’s right. Hypothetical.
…a concept that is not yet verified but that if true would explain certain facts or phenomena…
Learning to speak this language gave me a wonderful gift. It gave me a way to escape from my brain and work on those empathy muscles.
Here is an example. You pull into a full parking lots and see this:
Most people seem to think a few things off the top. Starting with:
What an inconsiderate ass! I am going to take a picture and spread it far and wide so everyone knows that horrible people like this are alive and are so selfish that they think they can just do what they want when they want!
That might be the case.
or.. you can also speak hypothetical, which could take you down another path. Such as:
Oh No! I hope that person is OK! Obviously they are so distraught over something that they didn’t behave in a proper manner! Perhaps a family member is sick or has passed away…
or..
Yikes! That person didn’t park very responsibly.. I wonder if they had to go to the bathroom REALLY badly and had reached the breaking point and just had to make a run for it?
Truly the person might be an ass, but perhaps not. I know what I would prefer to believe and that belief allows me to go through my day without my ego getting all riled about about something I can do nothing about. Thus making me a happier person!
You can apply this to many things. People’s driving skills, unbalanced family members, the rude lady in the coffee line or coworkers that seem to have a huge chip on their shoulder.
I admit sometimes I falter, but on the whole this approach allows me to live a happier life and helps me automatically think the best of people.
Give it a try for a month and see if it helps you be a happier person!
Hi Susan,
This is good. I often say to my daughter to give people the benefit of the doubt. Similar idea. Building on your hypothecation: perhaps the previous guy in the spot beside this guy parked funny, causing the odd empty space and a ripple effect. Lol
V.
Thanks Vicki! It makes life much happier when you don’t spend your time being angry at people you don’t know!
SK
I totally agree! I do not judge people for making what I would consider to be a rude action. Maybe they parked like they owned the parking lot, maybe they cut me off or were angry with their child in public in a way that I didn’t understand. I don’t know their story or how they got to that point. I make mistakes too. A lot. I know I’ve cut someone off in traffic, but I sure didn’t do it intentionally. It was a mistake, not a sign of poor character on my part. I always try to give others the benefit of the doubt. A couple of months ago I was walking out of Chili’s. It was dark and we were leaving the restaurant. My young daughter had somehow got ahead of me and I was rushing to grab her hand so she didn’t walk out without me into the mall parking lot. There was a man opening the door and holding it from the outside, I quickly looked up and said thank you as I thought he was holding it for us. Turns out he was holding it for an older gentleman coming towards the door from outside. Of course I could not see that and I was looking down to grab my daughters hand. Well, let’s just say his wife didn’t speak hypothetical. She tore the biggest strip off me I’ve ever seen, insulting everything about me, in front of my three kids. This is just one reason we should all speak hypothetical. I wasn’t trying to be rude, I apologized over and over trying to explain what I had perceived. It didn’t work out for us that night and my children were made to feel quite uncomfortable. Good thing for her I do speak hypothetical. I can’t imagine why on earth someone would treat a stranger that way unless she carried a heavy load herself. It did take me a while to remember that time. We all want to be happy and I don’t believe for one minute that many of us our out to hurt the other. If I haven’t walked in your shoes then I can’t judge your actions. We’re not perfect. Thanks for reminding us Susan.
Thanks for reading Dana!!
I’m glad so many people understand what it is I am talking about. I am sorry that lady wasn’t very nice.. sometimes we all just need to stop and take a big breathe!
Oh my gosh! That is what I speak all the time. No wonder I feel as if we are friends through the radio. You voice what I think or do all the time. Thank you for your radio show and for being such a wonderful woman!