January 21st, 2015
Legions have stood at the precipice
I sit here in front of my computer a defeated woman. Sweaty, bruised and still trying to catch my breath. What could of possibly put me in this level of distress?
Shopping for a new sports bra.
I kid you not. Sports bra shopping no matter what your fitness level possesses the ability to bring you shaking to your knees begging forgiveness for whatever evil deed you did that made karma come around and kick in you in the ass while half naked and in a store dressing room. Sport bra shopping can cause a humiliation that will stay with you until your last days. The only solace you can take is knowing that you are not alone. Legions of sporty woman have gone before you and many have stood at the precipice as I did today.. wondering …
WILL SOMEONE HAVE TO COME INTO THE CHANGE ROOM AND CUT ME OUT OF THIS GODFORSAKEN CONTRAPTION!?!?!?!
It starts innocently enough as you pick out your favourites, if you are of an ample bust size it does feel more like you are shopping for a straight jacket, you head into the change room, strip down and begin the dance.
Too tight, too small, weirdly uneven, uniboob, too big, this could be a hat, do I have it on backwards, how do I get this on?
Until that single moment you know you are in trouble.
Sweaty, out of breath and trembling you stand half naked in a sports bra that you managed to get on, but now refuses to come off. The bonus is that all this happens in a 365 degree mirrored room. #noescape
This was me not that long ago in a change room at The Bay. If you had been in the room next to me you may have wondered if a wounded animal had snuck in and was living it’s last moments under the wonderful glare of change room lights.
I was moments away from firing off a flare of distress to get the ladies at the till to come in with the jaws of life when suddenly with a pop and a swoosh it was off. I am still not sure what worked, it might have been when my elbow and shoulder dislocated that I was finally set free.
La sigh.. if only it wasn’t so necessary! Just how necessary? Check out the “Bounce-O-Meter from ShockAbsorber. It illustrates very well just how much a role a bra can play in your work out.
Advice: Go here. BOUNCE-O-METER (Yup you read that right) Good luck and God speed. Remember if you do need to call for help; hold your head and your girls high, sometimes it’s tough to keep those ladies in check!
Join me getting sweaty at Aspire Health and Performance! Stop Working Out. Start Training.