February 2nd, 2014
It’s been a long time since I cried about being stupid.
I took up knitting recently.
Sometimes I push aside the fact that I don’t learn the way other people do, sometimes the harsh reality of it sneaks up and smacks me over the head and I cry.
Big desperate frustrating crocodile tears.
It’s not the actually act of knitting that is causing my frustration. I understand that it takes practice to learn a new skill, some people pick it up faster then others but if you work at it you can make it happen. I have a slightly awkward looking scarf and a pile of dish clothes to prove that.
It’s the remembering where I am at in a pattern that causes me issues. I don’t mean that I forget after putting it down and walking away for a day. I forget seconds after the last stitch in a row before I start the next row, and it happens row after row after row.
The easiest way around this is to simply write it down as I go.
I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO DO THAT.
We spend a great amount of time making sure kids are given the tools they need to deal with learning issues. It’s amazing how far that part of our educational system has come, but I want to take a moment and salute all those adults that still have to pick up those tools day after day and make life work. We have all developed tricks and “work arounds” to approach varies tasks depending on where are short comings fall, often the people around us have no idea.
Few people in my world aside from a couple close friends and family understand the full extent of my learning issues. I managed to read news for almost 7 years at my last job and that was a crap shoot every morning! My ability to translate written words to spoken words is more than slightly impaired. People take shots at my spelling and grammar on social media all the time, and have no idea that when tested I spell at a grade 4 level and it takes an amazing amount of self confidence for me to write anything in a public setting.
Sometimes I look at words and simply have no idea how to say it out loud. I AM A RADIO HOST. This causes issues, but not as many as you might think. I have to make sure I have enough sleep, keep focused and be in a positive state of mind. I have a lifetime of experience behind me at this point so most of the time I just “deal.”
but sometimes.. like tonight… it sneaks up on me.
I feel so stupid. I am not saying I am stupid, just simply that I FEEL stupid.
It occurs to me that as an adult with over 40 years of dealing with this, how hard it is for a 7 year old trying to figure out why they can’t keep up with their friends in class. The hardest part is when you realize that this isn’t an issue that you can work past and will just go away, nope this puppy you get to play with for the rest of your life.
I have a visual-spatial learning issue, never ask me how many people are in a room or trust me with directions unless you have an excellent sense of humour and if you correct my spelling in a public setting realize that I might be smiling and laughing on the outside but inside it hurts.
I salute everyone that is working to the best of their abilities and tries to push that boundary regularly. Just in case you need to hear it, you are doing a great job, keep it up.
Read more about how I “deal” and learned to solve a Rubik’s Cube — HERE
Ok.. I have some knitting to get back to.. thanks for listening.
Susan, I took up knitting 3 1/2 years ago and absolutely love it. There are days I absolutely hate it because I can’t remember the pattern – just like you I get to the end of the row and I have to stop and think. I am the slowest knitter ever and when I give a gift that I have knitted I always tell the recipient that every stitch is knit with love. Remember that you are knitting for pleasure and that it is therapeutic as it helps you relax and lowers your blood pressure. It might help you to join a “knit night” at a wool shop – I am waiting for my fav store to reopen so that I can relax with other knitters and learn their tricks.
I am a huge fan of yours and have listened to you and UP for more than 2 years.
Thanks for listening on Up and reading my blog! 🙂 I like the idea of a knit night at a wool shop, I will look into it!
I am a self taught crocheter and its not easy keeping track of the stitches. My grandmother could both knit and crochet and I envied her ability to produce such beautiful work for so many years. I thought she was superwoman. Imagine my shock when we were cleaning up her house after she died and found book upon book of notes she had taken while she knitted. She did not do all her knitting by memory, she wrote it all down. Dont be put off because you have to make notes to remember where you are in a pattern, even people who dont have learning issues use these methods. I cherish all the baby clothes and blankets my grandmother made for me every day and I hope one day to go through those notebooks and see if I can recreate the patterns she had used over the years. Dont get discouraged. You did a great job on the scarf as a beginner. I cant wait to see more of your projects, in time it will be second nature and you will have so much joy and pride in everything you make, no matter how you do it. 🙂
Kristina, Thank you so much for the encouragement! What a wonderful family story, my Grandmother knit as well. I have one of the sweaters she made for my Grandpa.. it is so beautiful! I am pretty sure that is what keeps me coming back to knitting! I am going to keep working on my dish clothes and hopefully down the road I will make a sweaters for my dogs! Poor things have no idea what’s coming. LOL Thank you again for commenting on my blog with words of encouragement.
Hi Susan, I’ve been knitting / crocheting off and on for several years. I find if I don’t use the extra tools — stitch markers, row counters, pattern markers, etc. I would never get a project completed. Several times I will start a project without these clever little tools thinking ‘I won’t need them this time’ or ‘I’ll do the first few rows and then use them’ only to have to take the entire project apart and start all over again and again. Obviously someone out there had the same problem to create these wonderful aides. You can find these anywhere yarn is sold. Hope this helps.
I will look into it for sure! Thank you Anne!